drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
