I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
