I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
