The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Well I just put wine in my tea
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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