I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
