when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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