Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
