im drinking this country out of the recession.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
