Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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