No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize
