i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
It's just like the Real World with babies
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
