Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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