You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
