Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
