Whod you bang
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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