I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Randomize
