Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
We have so much sex to catch up on
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
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