remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
