Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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