In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Houston, we have a blender
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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