This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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