i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
