apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
vagina is talking i cant
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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