Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
