i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
