So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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