I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
