she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
