How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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