Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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