I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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