She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
