In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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