Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
my poor anus
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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