Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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