I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
