she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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