i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
