Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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