Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
