New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
