...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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