Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
