Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I wanna passion pit in your ass
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
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