The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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