I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
