before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
