once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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