What tipped you off? The sombrero?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
