She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
there's paper in my vomit.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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