She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
